it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The Olympian is in my bed
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
