I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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