i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
