You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize