someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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