i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
