His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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