Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
