I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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