I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
4 words: hood of his car
this just has baby written all over it
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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