Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize