Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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