: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
