what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
