You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
