Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
