just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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