How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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