SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
