You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
