I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
