Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
