I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
