break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
