He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
