There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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