i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
