Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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