so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
only you would photoshop your dick
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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