These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
