I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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