When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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