You can't motorboat a personality
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
