We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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