Cold hands, warm shart.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
