New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize