I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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