I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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