my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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