Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
