We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
should my penis look like a turkey
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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