my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
