Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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