So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
