Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just forgot I was standing up.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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