We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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