He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
