Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I lost the right to judge tonight
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
