just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize