question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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