the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize