The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
True strength comes from lack of pants
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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