I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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