I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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