Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
