i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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