Pants 0. Shit 1.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
