I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize