so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
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Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
ttyl tear gas
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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