a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
