dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
