Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's Friday. Sex?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
