no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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