Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
