for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
